The English Abroad

Would appear to be completely clueless.

Blank Passports Going Cheap!

The BBC are reporting that a batch of 3000 blank passports has been snatched during their delivery from Manchester to London.

The Foreign Office admitted a serious breach of security over the loss of the passports and visa stickers, which were being sent to embassies overseas.

However, the passport service said the stolen documents could not be used by thieves because of their hi-tech embedded chip security features. The passports were the new electronic variety which contain a chip replicating the data printed on the document itself.

Well that's a relief. Because obviously no-one has shown the flaws in the new e-passport, have they? So it must be "secure" in a sense I'm not familiar with.

And correct me if I'm wrong here, but not every country in the world is going to have the necessary equipment for reading the passports anyway. So if you're travelling to say, Australian Samoa by boat, how high exactly are the odds of your passport being checked using the e-passport reader?

Ah, I've worked out the meaning of "secure". It means that we in the UK are, while the rest of the world who can't afford the e-passport reader are now open to 3000 potential terrorists. Well that makes me feel a whole load safer.

Thoughts From Roskilde

First up, wonderful weather for the majority of the festival. This made quite a change from last year's floodfest, although still allowed an absolute downpour just as Jay-Z came on stage. Wonderful timing!

Pick of the bands were The Hellacopters (although added to by the dancing man in front of us), Job For A Cowboy (started well but then got a bit repetitive), Seasick Steve (who needs a MUCH bigger venue next year), Hot Chip (very bouncy in the rain, but NEVER end with 'Nothing Compares 2U' *ever* again), Kings of Leon (more chatty than usual) and Bullet For My Valentine (for encouraging people to crowdsurf in a venue that completely discourages it, not for playing too much off the new album).

The "why?" list of bands included Neil Young (4 songs in 45 minutes, on stage 2.5hours that felt like a week), Gnarls Barkley (doing the only song anyone knows right at the end is pretty cunty behaviour), Grinderman (even Nick Cave fans were disappointed) & The Chemical Brothers (the new stuff is worryingly Kraftwerk-like and the light show was just irritating).

Highlights generally were the happy smiley faces of pretty much everyone there, the range of food (although you might want to order more of the popular stuff next year, eh?) and the atmosphere.

On the downside, there was no shade whatsoever in Get A Tent camping, the snack bars ran out of coffee on the second morning and then closed completely before Jay-Z had really got started, and there really needs to be more places to sit that don't smell of piss.

And yes, I shall be going again next year.

What I'm Up To Soon

So, handily, this weekend I don't seem to have anything planned. Which is, as you'll see, quite unusual. I'm hoping to meet Dave Sherlock for a pint (or two) though, as I'm going to be missing the official opening of his new pub, The Hope on Feb 2nd.

I would have been there then, but unfortunately due to a clash of dates, I'm actually going to be in Sardinia that weekend instead! Yep, thanks to Suzi and the Ryan Air free flights deal, we're off to Alghero for the weekend. Well, technically we're there for just over 24 hours, but it is at a weekend, so I'm calling it a weekend away.

The weekend after this (26th & 27th), my flatmate Jane, is off to Canada for the wedding/civil ceremony of Mickey & Miron. So I'll be looking after the (feathered) birds and probably sitting naked in the lounge covered in chips. Mmmm, chips.

The weekend after that is Sardinia, as previous mentioned, then the weekend after that I'm going to watch kick boxing! Went a few months ago and really enjoyed it, so we're off again that Saturday. No plans as yet for the Sunday, but I'm sure something will come up.

The Saturday after that (16th Feb) we're seeing the Dropkick Murphy's at Brixton Academy, followed by another visit there on the Monday night to see Jimmy Eat World. Then the weekend after that (23rd Feb) a trip back up to Newcastle to see Jimmy Eat World again (as well as my brother and Margaret) before flying back to London on the Monday lunchtime.

Handily we've nothing planned for the first weekend in March, but the next weekend, we're off to Girona (near Barcelona) for the night before flying home on the Sunday.

So basically, if you think I'm ignoring you, or you just don't see as much of me as you used to, I hope the above explains why! I probably don't hate you. I mean, I might, but it is unlikely. Unless your name happens to be Sam Allardyce, then I do hate you.

Spanish Holidays

So, got up at 5.15am on Saturday morning, drove to the airport and flew to Spain. Nice bit of the jet-setting, carbon-footprint-increasing (although I don't feel too bad as I don't have children) lifestyle I lead. Got to Girona (about 1hr North of Barcelona) and after a very short time, realised the place was pretty much shut.

According to three separate locals, it was because of some Spanish holiday. Although why they do it on a Saturday is a bit beyond me, seeing as office and factory workers traditionally don't work weekends. Mind you, most of Spain also has (or had up until very recently) the luxury of a good couple of hours kip in the middle of the afternoon every day, so they know a thing or two about taking the piss with regards to time off.

So anyway, we had a brief wander round Girona, sat in a park by the bus station for a couple of hours then flew home. Weather in Spain was lovely though - twice as hot as London, and not raining in the slightest. Going to aim to go back at some point in the New Year and have a couple of days, plus maybe weekends to Dublin and Amsterdam.

Which leads me to the main reason for this post - no, it wasn't to gloat about being in Spain - does anyone have any recommendations for nice places to go for the weekend that aren't in the UK, but can be reached in about 2 hours flying time?

Add answers in the comments, ta!

Back From South Africa

Flew back into London last night after 7 days in South Africa. Taking a little while to get used to being back here, to be honest. Like thinking a £10 note is worth £7 like the R100 note is at the moment.

The scenery out in Cape Town and the surrounding areas is AMAZING. Never really seen anything like it, although it did remind me a little of a more dramatic version of the Scottish Highlands. The Highlands however, are a little light on the penguins of the Cape itself: incredibly used to people to the extent you can nearly touch them. And only a four hour drive from seeing lions.

Obviously there's huge contrasts between the extremes of wealth and poverty there - gated communities separated by huge shanty towns - and this does lead to a high crime rate and an even greater fear of crime. But things are changing. I'm not sure it's necessarily for the better (having read the local newspapers) but things are definitely changing.

The building boom ahead of the 2010 World Cup is in full swing and property prices are already beginning to climb (albeit from a very low starting point). While public transport is notable by its absence, now would be a great time to start a car rental company in Cape Town - as on Monday they'd run out of hire cars in the city and were already getting more in from outlying areas.

They could also do with more hotels as, again on Monday, I spent two hours schlepping round the city trying to find a room, as there was one conference on in town and 90% of the rooms were already taken (which serves me right for not booking somewhere in advance). If that had coincided with a large sporting event, however, I'm guessing a lot of people would have been sleeping on the beach. The one I did stay in was very good and will be very close to the new stadium.

I'd probably go back for the vineyards alone, though, as a quick drive through the areas on Tuesday was enough to convince me. We went to three wine tastings and I can honestly say that the wine they don't export from South Africa is better than most of the £5-£8 wines we get here.

And, just to complete the British Airways tale, the flight was delayed for over 1hr on the way back, although my television did work this time, so I did get to see "The Prestige" which I heartily recommend.

Welcome From South Africa!

Hey, got here on Wednesday morning after an interesting flight from Heathrow. First of all, my bag was tagged to fly to Montreal and I had to identify it at the gate before I could get on the plane. Then we sat for an hour on the runway for no apparent reason. Then when we took off, the television in the seat back didn't work.

As I can't sleep on flights I thought "oh well, at least I'll be able to read". Think again, as the lights above the seat weren't working either! So after the meal, we were plunged into complete darkness. I went and stood in the galley area and read there, then when I was asked why I was there, explained about the tv and the lack of light. "Why didn't you call an attendant?" "I tried, but that button doesn't work either."

So I spent the entire flight on the jumpseat at the back of the plane by the toilets, reading using the light they'd switched on especially for me. Not a comfortable seat by any stretch of the imagination. Thank you British Airways.

Still, got to Cape Town in one piece which is the best you can hope for really.

It's the wedding tomorrow - at some point in the afternoon, I'm not sure when but I'm sure someone knows - and I have to find new accommodation on Monday for two nights as the fantastic villa we're in is only rented until then. Until the next time....