Average Speed Cameras - Part Two.

I still haven't received a speeding ticket because of these, but I've now found one which is obviously more profit driven than the one on the M1.

On the M25, between the A111 and the A10, there is some building work going on to improve the tunnel section (I think they're widening it slightly so three lanes fit through it). Again there's lots of barriers to protect the workforce (who were actually doing stuff when I went through there yesterday) and a 40mph section.

The average speed cameras, however, are positioned AFTER the section where the building work is going on. They seem to only cover a 1 mile section where the traffic has been returned to the main carriageway - and is starting to speed up - and the final camera is about 400yds before the National Speed Limit sign. Now, to me, this is only about money making and not at all about safety.

This happens on both the clockwise and counter-clockwise carriageways, so it's not happened by accident. If they were using the cameras to ensure that traffic only went at 40mph through the building works (traffic was actually going through at about 20mph as it happens) then there would be a camera before the building works, not after it. Fuckers.

And, Jim, if the one on the M1 was done properly - by slowing traffic down from 70 to 60 about 2miles before the works, then 60 to 50 a mile before - the 40mph section wouldn't be so bad and there'd be less contraction of traffic. I think that if there had been any traffic flow modelling done on that section it wouldn't be quite so bad as it is now.

It's about profits, not safety. And nothing you can say will change my mind.

/me sticks fingers in ears

Shopping For CDs? A Recommendation.

I know it's a bit old-fashioned to actually buy CDs these days - as opposed to merely downloading them legally or illegally off the interpixieweb - but if you do, and you live in London, can I recommend Fopps?

Due to me having lost many, many CDs over the years - not the case you understand, just the disc - I decided to re-buy several of my collection. I'm glad I found this place as most of the stuff I bought was about £4 to £5 an album. There is a HUGE selection of artists, nicely laid out over two floors, including new releases at £9 to £10 an album. They also do DVDs and (mostly music related) books.

Being slightly surprised at the low prices, I started buying things I'd never owned before. But when it's a double live CD of The Wonderstuff for £3, or the first three Duran Duran albums in a boxed set for £7, it is easy to get excited. I left £42 lighter, but lots of discs to the good.

Fopps is located just off Shaftesbury Avenue where it meets Charing Cross Road. If you stand with your back to the theatre where Les Miserables used to be (and Spamalot will soon be, apparently) then it's pretty much in front of you on the far side of the crossroads. I don't think they have a website, but as part of the pleasure of going to a record store is actually looking through what else there is, this doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Usual disclaimer, I do not currently and have never previously worked for Fopps or its parent company (whoever they may be). If you go and don't like it as much as I did, then there's probably something wrong with you, or you're Jim (kingoftheforks) and only disliking it on purpose.

The "kingoftheforks" Hates My Blog/Stag Do's have gone insane.

Actually, he hates all blogs. Or "blogs" as he insists on referring to them.

He is a friend of mine (hello Jim), so the abuse I'm getting in the comments sections isn't wholly unexpected. In fact, he was the best man at my wedding, and did a very good job of making sure I didn't die on the stag do - for which I am still appreciative, despite my wedding not leading to a lasting marriage.

But getting to the point. Is it just me getting old, or have stag do's gone insane in the past nine years? When I was looking at things to do for mine - in 1997 - I had a lovely afternoon/evening getting steadily more drunk in London's West End. Then we went to a bar I'd frequented as a student, then onto a party (which I didn't like apparently) and was then dropped off at home. All done in one day, and could have been managed on a budget of £30 min - £100 max per person.

I've recently been on Giles's stag do - to Barcelona, as previously posted - which was a four day non-stop debauchery spectacular (£240 + spending money). Ryan's before that was in London, and very well organised - I put £75 into the whip and that was all I paid for the entire day. The one I went to before that (Hanson's) was in Munich - for the beer festival - and was a three-dayer (£200 + spending money). Before that one, I was supposed to go on a four-dayer to Prague (Gee's) for a stag do, but unfortunately couldn't find my passport, so missed out - despite having aleady paid for the flights.

I'm not being a tight arse here - well, maybe I am - but having gone on these stag do's I've then had to pay good money to get to the weddings! Which means less money to buy presents with. Which is a shame, as one of the things that overwhelmed me at my wedding was the amount of presents that we got. And I like to think that part of the reason was very few people - apart from older relatives - had to travel very far for either the wedding or the stag/hen do's.

So if you're planning on getting married, here's my advice - which, given the fact I was divorced after 4 years, you might want to ignore. Have a stag/hen do local to where the majority of your friends live and make a good long day of it - rather than a long weekend or longer somewhere abroad. If you want to get a reasonable amount of presents for your new home - or just things you really want - get married somewhere close to where the majority of people you would expect to attend actually live (when equally split, get married in the middle so everyone has to travel the shortest distance).

Not only will you be able to claim that you're doing your bit for the environment by reducing travel to the minimum possible, you should also get a lot of happy people turning up to give you presents. Which means your wedding photos will be full of smiling faces, giving the impression that everyone likes your partner and that you're incredibly popular. And your grandchildren will eventually be very impressed by this, given that by the time they get married, they'll have had month long stag do's in Australia/China/Iraq and got married on the Moon with no guests attending and few presents.

Newcastle United. It's a Rollercoaster Ride.

So we appear to be on the verge of signing Damien Duff. I'm not sure he would've been my first signing this season - we so need another striker - but hopefully he'll provide some balls into the box that would allow whoever we are playing up front to get goals.

We are, as I write this, 2-0 up against Lillestrom in the InterToto Cup, Shola Ameobi having scored twice in the first half. I was watching the game in my local - The Inn on The Green in Palmers Green - but as the GAA was about to start, the game was turned off before the second half had begun. I'm now listening to it online on BBC Radio Newcastle's feed instead. It's not the same, but at least it's "live".

So here's my hopes for the season. I think we should be safe from relegation this season, and we may, with a bit of good fortune, get into the European places by the end of the coming season. With regard to our potential UEFA Cup campaign this season, well, I can't see that coming to much to be honest. We don't have a strong enough squad to be able to perform adequately in the league and do anything much in Europe.

That said, if we don't do something spectacularly bad today, we might be able to persuade other players to sign for us - thus strengthening our squad - which may lead to us being able to reach the knockout stage of the UEFA Cup. Which would be quite a reasonable result, given that at this point last season we were being managed by the idiot Graeme Souness.

C'mon the Toon!

Why You Should Never Subscribe To 3 Telecom.

What follows was on-going argument/discussion with the mobile service 3. Sorry it's a bit long, but my initial amusement at the bad service has gone through confusion to outright anger.

I don't think I need to explain to you what has happened, as I think I make it quite clear in the text. Although given the number of emails I've had from them and not got any further, perhaps I may have been mistaken.

This is the email I sent to them on 03/11/05, regarding a sales call we'd received at work in October. Their parts are prefixed with ">" and my comments follow the paragraphs they refer to.

> "customer.services@3mail.com" wrote:
> Dear Jon
>
> Your dealer query
>
> Thank you for your email regarding the call
> that you received from the company Mango.
>
> If you are signed up with the Telephone
> Preference Service you should not receive
> any of these calls. I would recommend that
> you contact them and make them aware of any
> such calls that you get.

We have done and will continue to do so.

> I have checked our list of dealers and
> cannot find the dealer Mango, unless they
> trade under a different name.

I believe that they are also known as Mangotel (http://www.mangotel.co.uk/) for your future information. We also had a call last night from a company called Tulip UK (http://www.tulipplus.com/customer/home.php) who also claim to be providing contracts with your company.

Could you please CONFIRM that you have removed our company telephone number 020 XXXX XXXX from any database you have, as it seems you may have perhaps inadvertently provided our number to resellers.

Many thanks


Apart from an automated response, giving me a tracking number, I heard nothing. In order, these are the emails that have followed;

-----Original Message-----
From: silas@xxx.xxx
Sent: 24 Nov 05 10:09:27
To:
Subject: TRACKING NUMBER: A00000XXXXXX-0000XXXXXXX

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am still waiting for a response to the above tracking number.

Would it be too much to ask for a timely and apposite reply to my questions? I did send the mail on 03/11/05. I realise I'll get another automated response to this, but I would like this matter dealt with.

Many thanks in advance


Which was followed by an email that I HAD to reply to thusly;


-----Original Message-----
From: silas@xxx.xxx
Sent: 05 Dec 05 12:39:35
To:
Subject: RE: TRACKING NUMBER: A00000XXXXXX-0000XXXXXXX

> customer.services@3mail.com [mailto:customer.services@3mail.com] said;
> Dear Mr Blackburn,
>
> Thank you for your recent enquiry.

And thank you for actually responding.

> Unfortunately, we've been unable to access your
> account from the information in your email.
> Please could you reply with your account number
> or 3 mobile number so that we can resolve things
> swiftly.

Right, now you're beginning to annoy me. I don't have an account with you, nor do I want an account with you. This whole sorry tale is because of one of your resellers calling me at work (on a number that we have registered with the TPS) and trying to get me to sign up for your services.

All this information was included in the original email I sent to you, and I received the tracking number mentioned several times in this and previous emails to you. I now cannot be bothered to provide it to you again, and suggest that you actually refer back to my previous emails before attempting to respond to me again.

What I wanted to know, but fear I am unlikely to discover before I die or the Earth falls into a black hole is, can you guarantee to me that Mangotel (the URL of which I provided previously) are no longer in receipt of our telephone number (which I have also provided previously) or do I have to take you and them to tribunal with the TPS?

I would like an email written by the Head of Communications (if you have such a person, although I am beginning to doubt it) explaining to me that Mangotel do not have our number any more, why they had it in the first place, and why it has taken you so damned long to actually get to the root of my initial email of a month ago.

> Or, if it's easier, you can call our Customer
> Services team on 333 FREE from your 3 mobile
> or 08707 330 333 from any other phone (calls
> charged at your national rate).
>
> Either way, we'd be happy to help.

You know, I'm beginning to doubt that's actually true. While I was aware - through consumer shows - that your Customer Services were indeed bad, I did think this would only be of consequence should I actually be stupid enough to join up with you. However, I've realised that I was mistaken. I'm not even a customer of your company and> quite frankly I'm amazed anyone who has to deal with you on a regular basis hasn't shot themselves. Repeatedly, just to make sure.

> Best wishes,
>
> Customer Services, 3
> Welcome to our network
> three.co.uk>


Now, I thought - stupidly in retrospect - that this might actually get a response, but what I received just made me reply again.


-----Original Message-----
From: silas@xxx.xxx
Sent: 07 Dec 05 10:34:33
To: Subject: RE: TRACKING NUMBER: A00000XXXXXX-0000XXXXXXX
> customer.services@3mail.com> [mailto:customer.services@3mail.com] said;
>
> Dear Mr Blackburn,
>
> Thank you for your recent enquiry.

And thank you VERY much for the phone call I received from you yesterday, even though I specified that I wanted a response by email. If you do intend to phone me again, could you at the very least have someone who had a clue about my complaint do it? I don't really enjoy shouting at lowly paid members of your staff, but I probably would enjoy listening to a competent and rational explanation from one of your senior staff members, and, just possibly get an apology from you, and a guarantee it won't happen again.

> To protect our customers' data, we can only
> respond to an email address that has been
> registered with us.

Okay, I am now convinced you are attempting to wind me up on purpose, so I will say this again, loudly. I AM NOT A CUSTOMER & I DO NOT WANT TO BE A CUSTOMER. CONTACTING ME BY E-MAIL WOULD NOT, THEREFORE, MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE TO THE SECURITY OF YOUR DATA.

I have absolutely no care in the world for any of your customer data - although I do feel sorry for the people who have to pay to put up with this frankly idiotic "Customer Service".

I also note that you had no such concerns in responding to this email address with your initial response, informing me that you had no idea who Mangotel were.

> Please call us on 333 FREE from your 3 mobile
> (or 08707 330 333 from any other phone*) and
> we'll sort things out swiftly.

As the original call that led to this series of emails actually took place on 20/10/2005, I very much doubt your ability to "sort things out swiftly".

> When you call us, you can also update your
> contact details and register this email
> address so, in future, we can respond directly.

Okay, read the next sentence slowly and repeat it if necessary. I am not registering ANYTHING with your stupid company, nor do I feel it necessary to do so, since I am the one being inconvenienced by you and your resellers and you are the people who can stop this.

> Either way, we'd be happy to help.

Really? No, really?

> Best wishes,
> Customer Services, 3
> Welcome to our network
> three.co.uk
> *Calls charged at your national rate.


Which didn't make the slightest bit of difference, and I got another email back asking me, well, the usual question. So I thought I'd try and explain the problem again, just in the vain hope that someone, somewhere would actually reply.


-----Original Message-----
From: Silas [mailto:silas@xxx.xxx]
Sent: 07 December 2005 15:07
To: customer.services@3mail.com
Subject: RE: TRACKING NUMBER: A00000XXXXXX-0000XXXXXXX
> customer.services@3mail.com [mailto:customer.services@3mail.com] said;
>
> Dear Mr Blackburn,
>
> Thank you for your recent enquiry.
>
> Unfortunately, we've been unable to access
> your account from the information in your
> email. Please could you reply with your
> account number or 3 mobile number so that
> we can resolve things swiftly.

AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!! Seriously, what are you people on? Do you even read emails that are properly quoted. Or would you like me to top-post like yourselves? Can you even read this text? I'm beginning to think that you can't.

How can I have an account number or my 3 mobile number when I have neither? Nor do I want an account with your company. Ever. If you bothered to read the thread of emails you would see that, and I quote from one included in the one I sent you just earlier today;

> > What I wanted to know, but fear I am unlikely
> > to discover before I die or the earth falls
> > into a black hole is, can you guarantee to me
> > that Mangotel (the URL of which I provided
> > previously) are no longer in receipt of our
> > telephone number (which I have also provided
> > previously) or do I have to take you and them
> > to tribunal with the TPS?


Mangotel, to save you bothering to look back, is one of your resellers. We are a company who are registered with the TPS (that's the Telephone Preference Service, of which you don't appear to be a member) yet still received sales calls from the aforementioned reseller. This, it may surprise you to know, is in direct contravention of the legal requirement enforced by the TPS.

Right, once more for the hard of thinking:

TELL ME IN WRITING THAT NONE OF YOUR RESELLERS HAVE OUR TELEPHONE NUMBER IN THEIR DATABASE. TELL ME WHY MANGOTEL DID HAVE IT. TELL ME WHY IT HAS TAKEN SINCE 20TH OCTOBER TO GET THIS INFORMATION OUT OF YOUR COMPANY. TELL ME WHY I HAVE NOT RECEIVED AN EMAIL FROM SOMEONE SENIOR IN YOUR ORGANISATION. TELL ME WHY I SHOULDN'T INSTIGATE AN INVESTIGATION BY THE TPS AND OFTEL AGAINST YOURSELVES.

> Or, if it's easier, you can call our Customer
> Services team on 333 FREE from your 3 mobile
> or 08707 330 333 from any other phone (calls
> charged at your national rate).
>
> Either way, we'd be happy to help.

You keep saying that, and I now know that's not actually the case, so please don't put this in the next email to me, or I'll know that you're not reading the emails I send you whatsoever.
>
> Best wishes,
>
> Customer Services, 3
> Welcome to our network
> three.co.uk>


Okay, what is it that I'm doing wrong?

-----Original Message-----
From: silas@xxx.xxx
Sent: 07 Dec 05 18:39:19
To:
Subject: RE: TRACKING NUMBER: A00000XXXXXX-0000XXXXXXX
> customer.services@3mail.com [mailto:customer.services@3mail.com] said;
> Dear MR Blackburn,
>
> Thank you for your recent enquiry.

I have a horrible sense of deja-vu about this.

> To protect our customers' data, we can only
> respond to an email address that has been
> registered with us. Please call us on 333
> FREE from your 3 mobile (or 08707 330 333
> from any other phone*) and we'll sort things
> out swiftly.

Why would I want to pay money to register an email address you've already responded to? And I'm not one of your customers, never have been one of your customers, and never, ever want to be one of your customers.

I want to know NOTHING about your customers. And don't, whatever you> do, claim that you have to do this because of the Data Protection Act. I am fully aware that the DPA does not require you to completely ignore requests for information, or make me HAVE to ring you to give you my email address.

I think you either don't actually understand my reason for contacting you, or are unable to give me reassurances that you have removed our company telephone number from your re-sellers databases, and nothing you have done since has helped me decide which it is.

> When you call us, you can also update your
> contact details and register this email
> address so, in future, we can respond
> directly.

I'm not going to call you. You've already responded directly to this email address after my first email query to you. You've rung me at the office (when I asked that I be contacted by email) and I see from my mobile that I have had a missed call from you on that as well. How are you not responding to me directly already? Oh, apart from sending me the same email every time I email you, obviously.

You are going to email me at this address with the responses to my questions that I have asked in the previous emails. I do not think this is a particularly harsh request, and I'm absolutely stunned that all you can do is send out the same stock email to every mail I send you.

When will you realise that I'm not going to register my email with you? Do you not believe that someone at your organisation has already replied to me at this email address, with a fairly helpful response (mind you, looking back, I'm surprised that someone who works for your company has ever given me a fairly helpful response) Look! Here it is!

> -----Original Message-----
> From: customer.services@3mail.com> [mailto:customer.services@3mail.com]
> Sent: 27 October 2005 09:27
> To: silas@xxx.xxx
> Subject: Response from 3
> Dear Jon
>
> Your dealer query
>
> Thank you for your email regarding the call
> that you received from> the company Mango.
>
> If you are signed up with the Telephone
> Preference Service you should not receive
> any of these calls. I would recommend that
> you contact them and make them aware of any
> such calls that you get.
>
> I have checked our list of dealers and cannot
> find the dealer Mango, unless they trade
> under a different name.
>
> If you have any questions, please don't
> hesitate to contact our Customer Services
> team on 333 from your handset (free) or
> 08707 330 333 (national rate).
>
> Thank you for contacting 3.
>
> Yours sincerely,
>
>
> Pauline Robertson
> 3 Customer Services
> 08707 330 333
> Welcome to our network
> www.three.co.uk


See? I'm not making this up. This is why I won't register an email address with you. You already have my email address. And you've used it. And there wasn't any loss of your precious customer information, was there?

As an aside, I can understand why you would want to keep your customer information private. Having a database full of people who are stupid enough to use you as their phone supplier, would be an extremely valuable commodity. I can never find anyone gullible enough to buy a treasure map off me when I need them. You, however, could probably sell a couple of dozen to any one of your customers each month.

But I digress.

> Either way, we'd be happy to help.

As I already asked you to remove this from your replies, I now know for sure that you are not even reading my emails. Could you please put something less likely to make me vomit in the next email? I don't care what, but I'm begging you, don't put "Either way, we'd be happy to help."

> Best wishes,
>
> Customer Services, 3
> Welcome to our network
> three.co.uk
> *Calls charged at your national rate.

And as I'm sick of realising how long this debacle has taken to sort out, I'm now cutting my previous discourse from the end of this email. I'd really like the answers before I die, so please try not to annoy me further - there's only so many times I can be sent the same email before this is escalated to someone higher up the chain, isn't there?

Whatever

--
silas


That led to the following email back from them...


-----Original Message-----
From: customer.services@3mail.com [mailto:customer.services@3mail.com]
Sent: 08 December 2005 10:30
To: silas@xxx.xxx
Subject: RE: TRACKING NUMBER: A00000XXXXXX-0000XXXXXXX

Dear Customer,

Thank you for your recent enquiry.

To protect our customers' data, we can only respond to an email address that has been registered with us. Please call us on 333 FREE from your 3 mobile (or 08707 330 333 from any other phone*) and we'll sort things out swiftly.

When you call us, you can also update your contact details and register this email address so, in future, we can respond directly.

Either way, we'd be happy to help.

Best wishes,

Customer Services, 3
Welcome to our network
three.co.uk
*Calls charged at your national rate.


So, I was about to send them another email back the following morning, when I had a phone call from them which drove me to apoplexy. So I sent this instead.


-----Original Message-----
From: Silas [mailto:silas@xxx.xxx]
Sent: 08 December 2005 11:54
To: 'customer.services@3mail.com'
Subject: RE: TRACKING NUMBER: A00000XXXXXX-0000XXXXXXX>

Okay, I received this email from you this morning, completely ignoring the one I sent to you that you've even quoted. Nice work 3, you really are something special.

Then, to top my morning off completely, I get a phone call from a "Wendy" in your e-mail department. She begins by telling me that she can't give me answers without my account number. The fury began to rise within me, but I explained calmly that I don't have an account number, that I've never had an account number and that I don't want an account number with your stupid company. To which she replies: "then I don't understand what information you want from us".

At which point I lost it. Without swearing, I shouted "then READ THE EMAILS" and hung up. There was no point whatsoever in continuing the conversation.

I'm somewhat surprised the email department were making phone calls, surely that would be a job for some outbound customer services department? But then again, what would you know about customer service?

Why do none of you seem to understand why I've been engaged in this on-going email battle of wills? I've made it quite clear in every email all I want you to do. I shall repeat it once more, as you appear to have problems even getting a basic grasp of my previous emails:

**** IMPORTANT BIT, PLEASE READ WHAT I WANT ****
I want to know, in writing, that none of your resellers have been provided with our company phone number by yourselves, and that you have advised all of them to remove any record of us from their database(s). I also want to know why it has taken since October for you to provide me with this information.

That is all I have ever wanted from you. Yet you have failed COMPLETELY to give me this information. As you are no doubt aware, I am legally entitled under the Data Protection Act to know all information that you hold on our company. As you are not providing me with any information, I am considering my options should you not bother to provide me with the answers I requested above.

I'd also like you to know that I have never dealt with a more inept company than yourselves, and this is something you should be proud of, as I've dealt with many companies who are no longer in existence. Fingers crossed my ability to spot a dud hasn't worn off, and I look forward to hearing of the demise of your company in the very near future.

Before anyone from your company calls or emails me back, please be completely versed in what information I require from you, and what information I have already provided. If I get another standard email from yourselves I will send it straight back without a reply. If I get a phone call from someone who doesn't know what I want to know, then I shall hang up.

I refuse to waste my time any further getting information out of you that you are legally required to give me.

Yours, more than a little annoyed.

silas


Unbelievably, after several more mails from 3 asking for my account details, I finally received a sensible email from them. I was so shocked that I was less sarcastic than usual in my response to them. Not that much less, but less all the same.

So here, it is, the final* reply from 3 telecom to a query I'd mailed them in October, with my response to them included.


From: silas@xxx.xxx
Sent: 09 Jan 06 13:31:09
To:
Subject: RE: Response from 3
> Dear Silas
>
> Your Retailer Query
>
> Thank you for your email regarding your
> ongoing issue relating to a third party
> retailer contacting your company.

OH MY GOD! This isn't an automated response!

> Firstly, let me say that I am very
> disappointed to learn you have had a poor
> customer service experience. Please accept
> my apologies on behalf of 3 for any
> frustration and inconvenience this has
> caused you, and be assured that 3 do value
> your comments in helping to improve our
> services.

Well I'm sure I've left you with a lot to mull over. May I recommend getting people who can read incoming emails before sending out an automated reply is the first thing you should do? The frustration caused by your company has been somewhat exasperating, but it has left me completely convinced never to use your services - without having to pay for the experience first - so that's been helpful.

> However, I can confirm that we do not supply
> any resellers with> anyone's details at all.
> They get their information from various
> sources, such as other retailers and any
> marketing information that may have been
> given in error. Some of these retailers
> simply work through a phone directory.

You see? That's all the information I've ever wanted from you: a simple declaration from yourselves that you have not provided our number to any of your resellers. I've been waiting since October for that.

Would you, as a company, please take the stance that your resellers are forced to use pre-checked lists of numbers - instead of making your company look bad by contacting people who are registered with the TPS?

This would have saved me the immense amount of hassle I've had trying to get a simple piece of information from your company.

> As you have previously been advised, it is
> against the law for us to supply any
> customer information without their consent
> and, as you are not a customer, we would
> not have any information regarding you in
> the first place.
>
> If you continue to receive marketing or
> sales calls from these independent
> retailers I would strongly suggest you
> register with The Telephone Preference
> Service.

I am fully conversant with both the aims and spirit of the Data Protection Act. I am also aware that you are entitled to hold information for marketing purposes - which is what I thought you had done - hence I was asking for confirmation from yourselves that you did not have our details. I have now received that confirmation, so I am now able to pursue Mangotel and Tulip UK directly.

If I subsequently find out that they have been provided our telephone number by your company, then I will be most annoyed that I have been lied to.

We are already registered with the TPS and have been for over a year, as I'm fairly sure I made crystal clear in the emails I've sent to your organisation over the past two and a bit months.

Does anyone actually read the full thread of emails sent before> contacting the customer? It would help to be fully aware of what has already been said before potentially enraging the customer by asking them "what's your account number" etc.

> To stop any of these calls being made you
> can contact The Telephone Preference
> Service on 08707 070 007.
>
> Alternatively you can go online to contact
> them at http://www.tpsonline.org.uk/tps/.
>
> However, if you do have any further
> questions, an option open to you is to
> contact our Customer Services team on 333
> from any 3 handset (free) or 08707 330 333
> (national rate).

I think I'd rather die of something unpleasant than ever have to be involved in contacting your company again, but thanks for the option.

> Thank you for contacting 3.

And thank you so much for actually answering a question I first asked nearly three months ago. Oh wait, 3! That's what it's all about! That's how long you have to wait to get any sensible replies from your company. I get it now.

> Yours sincerely,
>
> James Dey
> 3 Customer Services
> 08707 330 333
> Hutchison 3G UK Ltd
> www.three.co.uk>

--
silas


I sent this back the next day to 3 to thank them for actually dealing with my problem. So you can imagine how pleased I was to receive an email back from them the very next day.... until I opened the damn thing.


From: customer.services@3mail.com [mailto:customer.services@3mail.com]
Sent: 10 January 2006 10:19
To: silas@xxx.xxx
Subject: RE: Response from 3

Dear MR. JAMES DEY

Thank you for your recent enquiry.

Unfortunately, we've been unable to access
your account from the information in your
email. Please could you reply with your
account number or 3 mobile number so that
we can resolve things swiftly.

Or, if it's easier, you can call our
Customer Services team on 333 FREE from
your 3 mobile or 08707 330 333 from any
other phone (calls charged at your
national rate).

Either way, we'd be happy to help.

Best wishes,

Customer Services, 3
Mumbai, MumTemp59
3 Customer Services
08707 330 333
Welcome to our network
www.three.co.uk


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Interesting name that last guy has, don't you think?

* - okay, so it was nearly the final one. It's close enough, and I didn't want to spoil the "surprise".

Some Quick Thoughts That I've Been Thinking This Week

Okay, some a bit ranty, some a bit paranoic/"tin-foil hat" brigade and one complaint about the weather.

Complaint first. If I manage to timestamp this correctly, you should notice that it's posted at somewhere about 3am. On a Tuesday morning. When I should be in bed and asleep ready for another fun and exciting day at work. However, due to the fact I am particularly useless at dealing with heat, I cannot sleep. Cold, brilliant, don't even notice it. Anything above 21c during the day and I'm beginning to have problems, at 2am these problems increase rapidly. So yeah, I'm being very British and complaining about the weather. And that's that out the way. Now a quick rant.

Somehow the police have managed to get to the stage where they can announce that they will be able to track 50million vehicles a day - using their recently extended network of CCTV cameras and related databases - and there's not an uproar about it. Let me rephrase that rambling. The police will be able to track exactly where you have been and when you were going there, without you having to commit a crime or even be suspected of committing a crime.

Now, I don't know if I was asleep the day we had a vote about this infringement of civil liberties, but I suspect I would've remembered being told about it. Without my consent, the police have effectively been given the ability to monitor my movements. Which is interesting as I was still under the impression we had an "innocent until proven guilty" system, which obviously can't be true anymore as, by being tracked by the police cameras and logged on their database, I MUST be a suspect.

This isn't the tin-foil hat brigade section either, so don't discount this as not being true: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/11/15/vehicle_movement_database/ &
http://www.spy.org.uk/spyblog/2005/11/anpr_automatic_number_plate_re.html

A "24x7 Vehicle Movement Database". Oh. My. God. Without getting all Daily Mail Island about this, doesn't that seem a little, well, worrying? And there's no real definition of how long they're going to hold the data for. Could be two years. Could be six years. Could be forever, as it's going to be outside of the Freedom of Information Act 2000, yet, effectively breach the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act 2000. And now I'm about to go into the tin-foil hat section.

This is one of many removals of civil liberties that the Labour government have managed to get through parliament without many people kicking up a fuss. A Labour government. Drink the irony - drink it! - of the "Things Will Only Get Better" launch in 1997 of this new way. I'm not so sure I like the new way we appear to be going.

I do, however, marvel at the almost Machiavellian way in which this has happened. You can now, as a British Citizen, be extradited to the US for a crime that allegedly took place in the US at a time when you were definitely in the UK. You can, somehow, now be put on trial in the UK and not have a jury decide whether you're innocent or guilty. You can, and will, be tracked on every car journey you make in the UK.

You cannot protest about this, or anything else, within the earshot of the Houses of Parliament because you are now classified as a terrorist threat. You cannot complain about your liberties being eroded, because that means you have something to hide or, handily, are a terrorist. You can't vote for a different political party, as no-one is going to be stupid enough to say "Vote for us, we won't protect you from terrorists".

You were going to be forced to carry an Identity Card, but at the minute it looks like Gordon Brown has decided the cost is going to be too high. You may think the ID Card was going to be voluntary, but, no, sadly this was not to be the case had they come in: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/03/14/id_cards_compulsory/

The whole idea of ID Cards has been done much better than I could ever hope to write here on the http://www.no2id.net/ site and I do recommend you visit there. And do it before you start composing a "but these are necessary measures to protect us" comment.

I believe that this government is managing to fuck up the rights of the people more effectively than the Conservatives did in 18 years. If I remember my history classes correctly - and I'm prepared to be corrected on this as it was about 20 years ago - Hitler managed to rule an entire country by using pretty much the same "these are necessary measures to protect us" line for every removal of rights he put in place on his quest for power.

And normal people backed him. Backed him because of his strong personality. Backed him because of the mess the previous government had left the economy in. Backed him to the "extreme" position of invading a foreign country (tick), blaming their country's problems on immigrants (tick) and singling out a religious group for everyone else to be scared of (tick). Hmm. I think I just compared Tony Blair to Hitler *and* managed to support my argument.

It might be the heat frying my brain here, but, I think there's more to this whole tin-foil hat paranoid conspiracy theory than they let on.

Away Again This Coming Weekend.

It's getting a bit repetitive, I know, but I won't be home again this weekend. Instead of sitting around at home watching TV, eating and generally doing nothing, I will be in Mold for Giles and Soph's wedding.

I'm planning on going up there Friday evening straight from work, and then having a relaxing evening by myself in a hotel before going onto the wedding the next day at Soughton Hall. This does depend on me managing to get somewhere to stay, as the thought of sleeping in Matt's car doesn't appeal so much now my ankle is screwed.

As it's unusual for me to wear a suit - or indeed a shirt and tie - I'll post a picture of me on here next week in full bib and tucker. I'll also stick a couple of photos up of the married couple as well.

So yeah, don't ring me on Saturday afternoon, my phone will be off and I don't listen to my answerphone messages.

Chipped Bone and "Extensive" Ligament Damage.

Right, contrary to my previous post, having two bottles of wine does NOT make a difference in the long run to your falling down stairs experiences. Well, I mean I could have broken my back or my neck, but somehow, I've managed to knack my right ankle.

I can only imagine that I've done this *before* I fell. In fact, I'm guessing that this was WHY I ended up falling down the stairs - kind of turned over on my ankle, lost my balance and blam, bottom of the stairs looking back up in a bemused fashion.

Thanks to Gee for getting me back up, and if anyone can fill in the gaps after the comedic fall, I'd be very pleased.

Falling Down Stairs.

Not a particularly good idea at the best of times, I admit, but if you're going to do it, try doing it while drunk on two bottles of Wolf Blass Semillion Chardonnay.

Jasper Fforde Is Coming To London!

One of my favourite writers will be in London on Monday 10th July for his new book "The Fourth Bear". He's in Foyles on Tottenham Court Road at about 1pm doing a signing, then in the evening he's at Waterstones at Piccadilly giving a talk and a signing. The tickets for the latter event are £3 with the cost of the ticket redeemable off the price of the book.

"The Fourth Bear" is the second in the Nursery Crimes series, following on from "The Big Over Easy". While I did enjoy "The Big Over Easy", I enjoyed the Thursday Next series of books far more. For those of you who haven't read "The Big Over Easy" it's a Chandler-esque detective novel wherein Jack Spratt of the Nursery Crimes division sets out to find out who killed Humpty Dumpty. It's not as child-orientated as it sounds and is similar in style to Malcolm Pryce's "Aberystwyth" series.

The new book - from the brief extract I read today in Foyles - seems to be set around the death of Goldilocks after her visit to the cottage of the three bears. As the blurb on http://www.jasperfforde.com says, "have you ever wondered why Mummy bear and Daddy Bear slept in seperate beds? Ever racked your brains over the thermodynamic impossibilties of simultaneous porridge pouring?". Well I hadn't, but now I am.

If anyone is interested in joining me for the talk, I'll be in Piccadilly by about 6.30pm.

I don't know if you've seen this (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/5156136.stm), but Gary McKinnon is likely to be extradited to the USA to stand trial (probably, there's no guarantee of that) on charges of hacking into US Government computers. His only hope is that the High Court overturns this if/when he appeals.

I've sent Tony Blair the following email (via http://www.number10.gov.uk/output/page821.asp) as there's no email address for John Reid (whose department oversaw the extradition proposal from the US Government). I've also sent this to the Home Office (Reid's department, the one he called not fit for purpose) but I'm not expecting a reply from that. If you wish to try getting a response, his snail mail address is;

The Rt Hon. John Reid, Home Secretary.
The Home Office,
50 Queen Anne's Gate,
London
SW1H 9AT

"I am writing to ask why the UK are extraditing Gary McKinnon to the US for allegedly hacking into US computers. As Mr McKinnon was on British soil at the time of the alleged crime, why is he not being put on trial in the UK?

I was under the impression that we were not extraditing people to countries with poor human rights records or where they are not guaranteed a fair trial. The US have executed a man with the mental age of a child, and have held foreign nationals without charge or trial for over four years.

I would like to protest in the strongest possible terms that this decision is overturned. However, you have removed most of my ability to protest - well done on that - so I shall have to use the only way left to me: persuade people to vote you out of power."

Okay, so it's not that much of a threat.

Note to self.

When in the office, listening to and singing along with the "Once More, With Feeling" episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, do not under any circumstances do the arm movements and dance moves. Particularly while people are sat in the office watching you on the CCTV...

England's Failure in The World Cup.

This will be brief, as I know this is well after the event, and a lot of people with far more knowledge of football have analysed this thoroughly. But here's my tuppence worth anyway.

Players picked.

I don't disagree with many of the squad selections. That said, some do seem to be a bit odd. First up, Theo Walcott: a kid who hasn't even played in the Premiership and hasn't actually played a first-team game since before Xmas. Bit of an odd selection and if you were Jermain Defoe or Marcus Bent you'd have to think you'd done something personally to upset Svennis. Even Andy Johnson had proven Premiership experience and a goal scoring record far in excess of many other forwards, yet it looks like he wasn't even considered. (Remember, when Sven did play him, he stuck him wide on the right wing, which has never been his natural position).

Secondly, I have to admit having serious doubts about Owen Hargreaves. I hold my hands up here and say he did very well in his natural role of holding midfielder. He looked accomplished on the ball, tackled well and often, and passed the ball sensibly. He, it should be noted, was the only English player who managed to convert a penalty in the Quarter Final shootout versus Portugal. He's not a Gennaro Gatuso - my player of the tournament - by any stretch of the imagination, but played well enough to have deserved his place in the squad.

Thirdly & fourthly, Michael Owen and Wayne Rooney. I am, as I've previously admitted, a Newcastle United fan, but that said, I don't truly understand why Owen was picked ahead of either Defoe or Bent. Owen broke his foot in a challenge with Paul Robinson during the first half of a game at Tottenham at New Year. In the subsequent six months, he played all of an hour and a half for Newcastle. He looked severely off the pace. He gets to the World Cup and is expected to play as a lone striker. I'm not in the least surprised it didn't work. When he came to Newcastle he was coming back from injury and took about six games to get up to speed and even then was playing alongside Alan Shearer in a front two.

Wayne Rooney, however, I think was a mistake for a different reason. There's a lot being placed on his (admittedly chunky) shoulders. To carry an England team to the World Cup final was perhaps a bit optomistic. He didn't score in any of the qualifying games that got us to the World Cup itself, but Sven seemed utterly convinved that the Boy Wonder would score during the tournament itself. To the extent that he waited until the last possible minute to make sure he was fit enough to play ANY part in any match. But even though he regained match fitness to some extent, he doesn't play as a lone striker for his club side and isn't the type of player you want doing so for the country.

Tactics chosen.

In fact the only way you could possibly play Rooney up front by himself would be to have two attacking midfielders wide behind him, making it three up front when the ball was won. Joe Cole - who despite playing on the left is very much right-footed and cuts inside far too much - would be handy, alongwith Steven Gerrard or even Aaron Lennon. Even Stuart Downing would be fine for the left wing, or, if we could find a replacement left-back, Ashley Cole.

Three in midfield, one defensive (Hargreaves) and two more attacking but able to defend when necessary (Ashley Cole and Lampard), leaving us with the flat back four. You could even go with four across the midfield (including another more central holding midfielder, possibly Michael Carrick) and have three centre-backs. It's not as if we're short of quality centre-halves these days.

You'll note the lack of David Beckham and Peter Crouch. Or a classic 4-4-2 formation. Is Steve McLaren the man to change our system and players so dramatically? Probably not. Is he the man to lead England to a European championship or a World Cup win? I doubt it. He was shown as tactically niave in the Premiership - top ten finish anyone?. While he did manage to get to a UEFA Cup semi-final, I think everybody in the world is now fully aware of his "go down by a goal or two then throw on three strikers" approach.

So yeah, it irritates me we went out in the Quarter Finals. It does please me, however that there seems to be a lot of people in the crowd for the France v Portugal Semi-Final who are booing Cristiano Ronaldo just for the sake of it. It's like there's a lot of England fans there who didn't think for one second we'd not be there and have taken the opportunity to turn up and enjoy their evening anyway.

As much as it pains me to say this, "Come on the French!

So I didn't continue my rant the following day.

My apologies for that. I was planning on doing so, but then got involved in work related matters, which then led on to the trip to Newcastle, and that was extended until yesterday. So that's the excuses out of the way for why I haven't completed it up until now. Now here are the excuses for why it won't be completed today or probably tomorrow: I'm going to Leighton Buzzard and then Coventry to do two installations and won't be back until this evening.

If the M1 today is ANYTHING like yesterday, it will probably take me about 5 hours to get back from Coventry. I have never been in a thunderstorm like the one that was going on yesterday. It started in the usual way, sky looking a weird colour and lots of interference on Radio5. Then it started raining, followed by lots of sheet lightning. Then bolt lightning on all sides. Then it really started raining. And then the wind picked right up and the biggest hailstones I've ever seen started smashing into the windscreen. All the traffic stopped and everyone I could see was just looking up at the sky in amazement.

You know those maniacs who chase hurricanes? I felt like one of those who'd suddenly got a lot closer to the action than they'd intended. I kept thinking that it wasn't going to be long before I'd need a new windscreen or the van would be hit by lightning. While I was fairly sure I'd be okay if the van got hit (I've seen Richard Hammond do this on Top Gear and he's still alive) I was concerned that the electrics would be taken out.

Which would be more than irritating, as the starter motor stopped working at Trowell Services and I had to be bump started by the RAC - who told me not to stop until I got back to London as I wouldn't get it started again. The thought of breaking down in the Average Speed Camera section of the M1 Southbound was more worrying than being hit by lightning (and a great deal more likely to occur) or losing the windscreen.

So yeah, that's why I haven't ranted about economic inequality or why Conservatives are evil. But I will. Assuming I get back alive from Coventry.