Iraq or Wearside?

Some entertaining news in - unless you happen to be a member of the Great Unwashed - from the crazy world of Royston Keane.

Al Gharafa's Iraqi striker Younis Mahmoud admitted he had turned down a move to S*nderland because his father would prefer to live in peaceful Iraq than war torn Wearside. "My father likes it there and won't go," he sighed. "Maybe next year I'll move."

On a happier note for the Mackems, I shall be visiting you in August and wearing a Newcastle top so I'll be easier to spot.