Eamonn Holmes.

Why? Why is this man on television/radio/this planet? Are there producers who think "Hmm, we need someone to host this show who will definitely alienate most of the core audience... I know! Eamonn Holmes!"

Irritating, smug, supercilious - none of these words really do him justice. However, his finest moment - which I feel sums him up perfectly - came during his hosting of the National Lottery when, after a couple of the Fathers For Justice brigade stormed the set, he hid behind his co-presenter. His female co-presenter. His much smaller and thinner than he is, female co-presenter.

What a man!

At no point did he try to protect her, or any of the other people on the set, just his own sorry fat arse. And yet he isn't fired for being a complete and utter coward. Or for being a Manchester United fan. Which he does go on about at great length on his Radio5 show. So much so, in fact, that I've now stopped listening to Radio5 until either "Fighting Talk" (which was much better before Christian O'Connell left) or "The Rumour Mill" starts.

Now, me not listening doesn't sound like much distain, so let me elaborate. I usually listen to Radio5 from the second I wake up until the second I go to sleep. It's on in the car, it's on in the office, it's on in my kitchen. So for me not to listen for a couple of hours on a Saturday morning is quite a wrench.

That's how bad the "Eamonn Holmes Show" is.

It's not as if he's a good presenter and I just don't like him - he isn't. He often has no idea who the guest he's talking to is, or what they've done for them to be booked on his show. He patronises the public who call into the show, for not knowing the answers to questions he has written in front of him (and sometimes still gets wrong himself). And, most gallingly of all, for a man who presents a sports-related show, seems to know absoultely fuck all about any team other than Manchester United.

Right. That's more than enough time spent talking about him.