Well You've Convinced Me

The BBC are reporting on the trial of an alleged head of a terrorist cell. If you bother clicking the link, the headline is

"Suspect 'checked air timetables'"

Fuck me, he's obviously guilty then, the shifty looking cunt! What other heinous crimes was he committing?

Woolwich Crown Court heard he also talked "in hushed tones" on his mobile.

Makes a pleasant change, someone actually talking quietly while on their mobile in a public place - this bloke should be stuffed and mounted. I wonder what exactly made this behaviour so suspicious?

Prosecutor Richard Whittam said Mr Ali was observed speaking in "hushed tones in a foreign language" on a mobile phone.

That would be Mr Abdulla Ahmed Ali. I'm guessing here that English may not be his first language. If it is, there's a good chance it wasn't the first language of the person he was speaking to.

Mr Ali was then seen looking at an American Airlines page marked "timetable notepad". He then highlighted sections of numbers on the screen. Mr Ali was seen looking at the BAA Heathrow website showing "some sort" of timetable, before visiting a flight-booking website.

Blimey, I can't imagine a scenario where I would need to do that. Apart from booking flights and seeing which flights I wanted to take, obviously. He's blatantly a bomber! We should just hang the fucker now.

It gets better though.

The court also heard how on the same day, co-defendant Assad Sarwar, who was described as the group's "quartermaster", visited an internet cafe in Slough. He was observed as he wrote an email and then made notes as he looked up internet sites related to hydroponics - the process of growing plants without soil. He also looked up information on plant growing and feeding.

Hydroponics? Bomb making! Or growing weed. One or the other. But probably bombs.

In case you're interested, these are the idiots who, it is claimed, were intending to take a liquid bomb onto a plane. Or several planes. Or several bongs onto several planes. Whatever. The reason you can't take more than 100ml of liquid onto a plane is being put on trial here, essentially. Although if this represents the level of evidence they've got against them - oh, apart from them all looking a bit muslim - then I'm thinking there may be an acquittal. I will revise this opinion if there's more serious evidence at some later point.

As I mentioned closer to the time however, The Register explained very carefully why the liquid (or binary) bomb plot would never have worked.

Still, I'm sure BAA have been delighted in the increase in sales of shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste and soft drinks they've had since the introduction of the liquid ban, eh? Helps them pay for the supreme fuck up that is Terminal 5.